Despite the possibly misleading company name, the Cyclone Alien Vagina is in fact a masturbator. Adding itself into the onahole market, it stands out as a unique option for the Western audience, which is largely dominated by products such as Fleshlight and PDX. XR Brands (which is actually the name of the company that makes this product), is one of the only companies I've come across that is making masturbators like this (outside of Asian markets) for men. Custom fantasy toys, are largely dominated by women. There's a plethora of dildos, vibrators and grinders available, but not much out there for masturbators. So the market is thin, but does that translate to a good product, or an attempt at a cash grab to fill a niche without much competition in it?
What sets the Cyclone Alien Vagina apart from other products?
Well the first thing to notice is obviously it's a fantasy/sci-fi themed toy. Over here in North America, there is a real lack of toys like this for men. Most masturbators are modeled towards the "realism" side of things. They look like real vaginas and anuses (in shape, length and colour). They attempt to feel like flesh. The boxes and artwork are mostly of real models, or in Fleshlight's case, modelled after actual porn stars. There's some liberties taken on the internals, but most are made with a "realistic" feel.
Cyclone Alien Vagina upends that completely.
The colours and marbling are completely made up. They don't really relate to any character or alien I've encountered before. Admittedly I haven't encountered many aliens, but if they felt like this one then I'm all for the invasion.
The shape is vagina-like, but there are a lot of liberties taken as to it's appearance. It's humanoid. And I believe this is intentional, as to not create something so weird and unrelatable that nobody wants to put their dick in it. So this is a happy medium. It doesn't turn me away, but if they wanted to push the design limits further I wouldn't complain. After all, this is a fantasy toy, and part of the excitement is to create a look and sensation that can't be found here, on earth.
The other important thing to note here, is it's made from silicone! Almost every other masturbator you will find, will be made with TPE. This is a fantastic change, and one I encourage other manufacturers to adopt. There's nothing necessarily wrong with TPE at all, but having more silicone options expands what designs are available. And having more choice is a good thing.
How does the Cyclone Alien Vagina feel?
To summarize the paragraphs you're about to read: meaty.
It's not a very large toy, but it is thick. It feels dense and squishy, which altogether give it the "meaty" feel. It's well made, and so far the testing done has resulted in no tearing. Even around areas you'd expect it to, which is typically right at the opening, because the material is usually thinner. But not with this toy. It's extra thickness I suspect will keep it in tact for a long time.
The hole itself is more rectangle shape than round or oval. The top of the toy sticks out farther than the bottom, which is an interesting choice. It means that the top of the toy hits your pelvis before you're all the way deep in it. But if you turn it around, then the top of the toy slides further down onto your balls. The asymmetry is something I actually like, but it's understandable how that might not appeal to everyone.
The silicone itself came with a slight tack to it. I would've preferred this to be more matte overall, as the stickiness makes it feel kind of cheap. Easily fixed mind you, with a light sprinkle of powder, but then the powder flattens out the deep, rich colours the toys has. That's something you don't encounter with other TPE products, but because the silicone has a lot of colour in it, it became obvious it was powdered.
What about the insides?
Here, the alien theme persists. The entrance as mentioned earlier, is rectangular in shape. The front of the toy is asymmetrical. There are bumps and folds all over it. The outside has a large, round "clit" (that's in quotations not because I don't know what a clitoris is, but because who's to say that's what it is on an alien vagina. It could be anything for all I know).
The channel itself is uniquely textured as they describe. It's not overwhelming with folds, bumps, waves etc. that you'd find on a variety of Japanese onaholes for example. But again, humanoid. I'd like to see this aspect pushed further. Increase the depth of the bumps and waves. Add more extreme and weird textures to it. Why not? It's an alien sci-fi fantasy after all.
The main feature of this toy, is right at the front in the first few inches. The ceiling of the entrance has a downward protrusion, that's pretty extreme. And on the floor of the entrance has a large, bulbous nub, almost like a pearl, that sticks up. That design really is unique, and not something I've found in other toys yet. But this comes with a drawback.
Because of the extreme downward protrusion, the toy has a bit of a tendency to try and kick you out of it. It certainly adds to the stimulation and tightness of the toy, but at the same time can feel like you'll slide out of it if you're not staying very hard. Thankfully it's not that big of a deal, as overall it feels fantastic. It's soft and meaty, thick, a bit of suction at the very end, and feels different if you twist or turn it around.
Durability
As mentioned earlier, the overall thickness of the toy should lend itself to longevity. As you can see in the pictures, even right around the entrance is thick material, which is where other toys can typically break down.
The silicone is also what I'd classify as a medium softness. It's definitely soft enough to stretch as you use it, but not soft enough to completely flop over or fold in half. This should equate to a toy with the overall stretchiness to maintain it's shape, without a risk of tearing that harder options can succumb to.
Cleaning/Maintenance
As with most silicone toys, maintenance is a breeze. It requires a light powdering every now and again to remove some tack, but the toy is compact enough, with an easy to clean interior, that should pose no problem to beginners who are interested in this becoming their first or second toy. And because of the durability, the risk of tearing anything drops dramatically while cleaning it. Nothing is going to flake off, there's no smell, and it's easy to hide because of it's size.
It's as low maintenance as you could want. I find myself using this toy a lot more often than other onaholes, simply because of how easy clean up and storage is. I'm not afraid of breaking or tearing anything either. So these attractive qualities are something I appreciate, as other onaholes have to be coddled to the point where you can't clean them without wrecking something. Sure the insides are not as complex, but that's by design, and you can't expect to get everything you want in a single toy.
Rating
This is a great addition to any collection, or even if it's your first. The colours and design are a great offering that not many companies have for masturbators. The box art could use some attention, and I think XR could learn a thing or two about developing a character to go along with their designs, like Japanese brands do. But the overall ease of maintenance, the body safe silicone and unique design, in my opinion has produced a solid onahole from a company that doesn't see a lot of competition in this specific area. So it's clear they're trying to make a good product, and haven't just thrown this together without putting in the effort. I'd like to see what an Alien 2.0 might be in the future.
Pros:
- vibrant colours
- silicone
- durable
- easy to clean
- thick and meaty
- doesn't feel cheap
Cons:
- a bit pricey for it's size
- can feel like it wants to push you out
- too tacky for a silicone product
- box art has no character to justify where this design comes from
Price: 3/5
Value: 4/5
Durability: 4/5
Design: 3/5
